Where do you get your support?

For some reason, talking about infertility and miscarriage is so taboo. Nobody talks about it, even though we are desperate for the support.  Through my journey I've really struggled and needed somewhere to go, so...I went to the internet.  I found this great website called TwoWeekWait (www.twoweekwait.com).  Two week wait refers to the time in between ovulation and your period...waiting to find out if you're pregnant.  On there I found some truly wonderful and strong women who are always there for me, no matter what.  They know what it is like to struggle, they have experienced miracles themselves, and they also know the devastation of loss.  You can ask ANY question...it doesn't matter how gross it is.  And believe me, with TTC and pregnancy, there are A LOT of gross questions to be asked.  And they are answered without judgement, with humor, and most of all, understanding.  I'm so grateful to have these people to go to during my times of need.  Throughout my pregnancy and my loss, I knew that I always had somewhere to go.  And when I needed a break for a week, they were OK with that too.  I may have never met them in person, but I consider these people friends.  I think they'd say the same for me :)

Anyway, now for an update on how I'm feeling.   I'm still really struggling today.  The past two days have been filled with lots of cramping and heavy bleeding.  I've been doing really good emotionally but had a little bit of a small breakdown last night.  My husband and I were laying together in bed and he was stroking my hair and my face.  I told him how I can't help thinking of that the early baby gifts my parents bought us, with lots of cute little ducky onesies, and soft little baby blankets and how thinking of them makes me sad because in my mind I could see our baby wearing them.  As usual I started crying while he comforted me.  It's hard when you're healing well emotionally but physically your body is so far behind.  It makes it really hard to separate your feelings on everything.  I will say I am so grateful for the support and love of my husband.  Throughout this whole process he has been there for me.  He's always there to comfort me, hold me when I'm sad, cry with me when I need a good cry.  It's really hard on him too yet he puts all his strength into making me feel better.  I feel incredibly lucky for having such a strong and loving husband and such a wonderful marriage.  In times like this, it's important to remember what you DO have and to remember that I'm STILL lucky.