Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm sorry to say this but...

...pregnancy sucks.

I debated whether or not I should write about this because I know there are so many ladies out there who want this more than anything. And these are ladies that I care about. But you know what? I wanted this too and this is MY blog so here goes....

While we were struggling to conceive and then going through our miscarriage my heart was broken at the thought of not being able to experience pregnancy. I yearned to know what it felt like for life to grow inside me.

I finally got what I wanted and I could not feel worse. I am 9w3d today and I am in CONSTANT pain. I've been having IBS flare ups that leave me doubled over in pain and hysterically crying while straining to go to the bathroom and vomiting at the same time.

I get to go #2 maybe once every 4-5 days. I pee about 8-9 times/hour. And this horrible nausea rarely leaves me. I am constantly exhausted but can't sleep at night. My restless leg syndrome has also gotten 10x worse. There have been only two moments that made it worth it to me and those were the two times we have seen our gummy bear so far.

I've always said I wanted to have 3 kids. I will be lucky if I want to have another after this.

I am praying that things get better in the next few weeks. I love this baby so much already and desperately want to enjoy the incredible things taking place in my body but when you feel this awful, it's just so hard to see the silver lining.

I'm sorry if I seem like an asshole or if I seem insensitive to be complaining. But this is my journey and this is how I feel RIGHT NOW. I'm sure in a few weeks once I start growing my belly and feeling the baby kick I will feel completely different.

In the meantime I'll be praying to the pregnancy Gods to please please please let me feel better....even if just for a few hours!

4 comments:

  1. Talk to your Dr about the constipation. They can tell whats ok to take. Lots of fiber. :)

    Usually the 2nd trimester gets better. Chin up, it will all be a distant memory after the baby is here. :)

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  2. Ugh, sorry to hear you're having such horrible symptoms. Pregnancy doesn't suck, and the blessing of having a baby doesn't suck, but the symptoms do. I know you're not one to complain, and I know you thought about us infertiles when writing this blog, so thank you for your consideration. Your blog followers are happy that you're finally pg with a sticky bean and will continue to support you, consiptation and all! :)

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  3. Thanks Jen :) You're right....pregnancy doesn't suck...the havoc it's currently wreaking on my body does. I never would want to hurt anyone with what I write because I care so much. I'm pretty sure that because of existing medical conditions, that I have this part much worse than others and that they are probably the main cause of it all. So maybe instead I should hate on my IBS and Interstitial cystitis instead! :)

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  4. Sorry you are feeling so crummy! For me the worst part of this pregnancy is the constant worrying!!!

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